Coping with Job Loss – A Personal Story
I worked in Human Resources for years, coaching leaders on how to deliver the message, and to provide important information to the person on the other side who has just heard life changing news. So, I knew exactly what was happening to me before I walked through that door.
Even though it has now been one year, I now decided to blog about this personal event in my life, because you never know who needs to hear your story if you are courageous enough to be vulnerable.
This post is written assuming an audience of those who have not lost their jobs due to illegal or immoral activity.
Job loss is a life-changing event, done to you versus your choice, and a great loss.
Loss of:
• Routine / structure
• Financial security
• Work relationships and friendships
• Sense of belonging and purpose
With any major loss you can expect to grieve. The Kübler-Ross 5-stages of grief model describes different stages a person might go through, although stages are not linear, and some people may not experience all of them. They are still helpful to consider.
Denial: Avoidance, confusion, shock, fear
Anger: Frustration, irritation, anxiety
Bargaining: Struggling to find meaning, reaching out to others, telling your story
Depression: Overwhelmed, helpless, hostile
Acceptance: Exploring options, new plan in place, moving on
Here is how I experienced the 5 stages of grief:
• Reminding myself it is normal to go through these stages.
• The amount of time you go through them is individual.
• You may move through a stage only to find you slip back.
• You will get to hope.
I feel very fortunate that my journey in the valley of despair was short. Here’s how it went.
Day 1: The Event – Busy packing up and saying goodbye, and then arriving home thinking about how I am going to deliver the message to my family.
Day 2: Waking up feeling odd not having to go to work, but ready to purge my home office and transform it for me.
Day 3: Paperwork.
Day 4: Slipped into the valley of despair. Thoughts like ‘why me’? Feelings of sadness for the loss of my work relationships. Cognitive loss from the interesting work experiences I had. Routine loss as my days were now very different. And even the thought of ‘do I not have any worth’? And that is where I hit a pivotal moment. Here’s how.
My identity is not defined by the company who just let me go, and I will never let it be. Once I reminded myself of this, and declared my personal, positive affirmation, my perception shifted. Maybe you are in a situation now where you need to experience your own pivotal moment. Here are 6 strategies I used to see my situation through the lens of a gift.
Strategies to Deal with Job Loss
1. You own your identity. I know I just said this, but it is important to re-state. My skills, strengths, contributions, and personality traits that make me valuable are still there. No one has taken them from me, and someone else will find them valuable.
2. A chance to reflect. Everyone’s situation is personal and maybe taking time to think and explore isn’t feasible, but if you can afford it, it is a great gift to really reflect on your strengths and passions, what you really want to do – is it different than what you were doing, what difference do you want to make with the life you have? What kind of company do you want to work for, do you want to work for yourself? These are all questions you have a chance to explore, and maybe at the end of your reflection you find it is time for a different path.
3. An opportunity to build skills and learn. I hadn’t done resume writing or formal interviews in twelve years and was rusty on networking. Maybe you need to brush up on your certifications and train or skill up in a new way.
4. A reminder of who matters and is there for you. I experienced different waves of sadness periodically when I thought of people I worked with who never reached out to see how I was doing. I was reminded that maybe it is uncomfortable for them, maybe they don’t know what to say. So, I proactively did the reaching – some people responded, and some didn’t. What I learned and was reminded of is not all relationships are meant to last, there is a time and season for everything.
5. Real empathy. You really don’t understand a situation unless you have walked in someone else’s shoes. Think of the compassion and insight you now have to be able to relate to others who lose their jobs.
6. Teaching moment for your children or those around you. Did you crawl into bed and put your covers over your head, or did you step into your adversity with determination and perseverance? Your thoughts, emotions and subsequent behaviours can serve as a valuable model to others in areas like perseverance/determination, coping skills, and attitude.
On your journey to living your best life there will be pivots in the road. Navigating job loss is undeniably challenging, but it also presents an opportunity for growth and self-discovery. By sharing my journey, I hope to offer support and encouragement to those facing similar challenges. Remember, your value is not defined by your employment status, and with resilience and self-reflection, you can turn adversity into a steppingstone towards a brighter future. Embrace your journey and know that you are not alone—there is always hope and a path forward.
